睡不着，不想回家的夜晚

越是宁静的时候，脑袋越会乱想东乱想西，我一直想把自己做到最好，可是想了一想我有在进步嘛？

我的人生目标并还没有很明确，考试什么的，工作什么的，一切都还在摸索着。

我只想快点考完试，想着想着还有不到一个月的时间，而且我并没有什么读到，想了想顺其自然的去考，还蛮压力的。每次都会给自己很多的借口。现在想什么也没用，就尽力读完它吧。

工作方面，最近表现很差，也许我失去了工作的冲进，我需要一个目标，以前是说想学就是想学，现在学也学了七七八八，但，太过多东西改变了，我也来不及提升自己，我真的好想把所有的一切知识装进我的脑袋里。 说到冲进就得要有目标，我的目标还是和以前一样吗？要坚持下去吗？我一向都很喜欢分析公司财务管理，可是我已经好久没做了。每次都因为做工而没有在外面提升自己。我真的还要坚持下去吗。

最困扰我的，事到如今，我还是不知道为什么我就不能把感情这东西放一旁。我已经很努力的把所有的爱转移到了家人，可是我的心一直在想着我们能不能前进。想起你对我说的一切，我知道是不可能的。可是，我却硬着头皮给上了。也许有一天奇迹发生让你接受了我。我知道，我还不成熟，我的理想还没达到。只能说一切随缘，只是心里真的很不舒服，一直要压抑自己，为你能够付出的我一定做。虽然每次都催眠自己说，对你再好我们也只是朋友，对你付出的一切不求回报只想珍惜和你在一起的时候。 就算永远都是朋友，我也不介意。因为，谁叫我真的喜欢上一个不可能的人。

我不知道，为何会那么在乎你的一切，说是爱，其实我也很怕这是假象，可能我刚分手几个月就想特别关心你。种种的问题一直浮现在脑海里，一直自问自己，到底我是不是喜欢上了 你。无法否认，我真的很享受和你在一起的时光，愿意跟你分享一切，把你所说的都记在心里。就算这一切算是喜欢你的理由，我也会觉得自己很幼稚。

你要的是一个成熟的男生，要比你又学问，比你懂事，这让我想到，我很想要你把我当成是你的依靠，我会不断的进步证明自己，希望我的一切的梦想都可以实现。在正式的追求你。

真的找不到别人诉苦，就只能靠这里把自己的心声都说出来。

加油吧！

惭愧，亏欠，对不起

分手后，流了不少的泪，感觉自己也瘦了几公斤，让我来发一个博说完分手后的感言吧！发完这最后一次，就继续已经在前进的我。

首先，谢谢一直在我身边的家人和朋友。

第一个是敬爱的刘女王，这7年里真的对不起，我忽略了你对我的爱，我真的很不孝，拍拖时没好好陪你，分了手后，你是那个一直陪我和我开玩笑，当你告诉我不要怕，我一直在你身边时，虽然那时候只是信息，我的泪都狂飚了。 女王，对不起，我真的知错了，没有人能替代你在我心中的位置，虽然现在发现有点迟，子欲养儿亲不待，我记得的，女王，原谅我，我一定会好好照顾自己，听你的做好自己， 完成梦想，真的很谢谢你一直陪着我。我会做好自己，有时间就回家陪你，我好想念你煮给我的菜肴，小时候不珍惜，大了特怀念。当面我根本对着你开不了口，我也不想让你看到我的眼泪，我会好起来的。

第二，兄弟们，谢谢你们的辅导，我会改过自新的，我不会浪费你们骂我的时间。我一定会改掉我拖延的习惯，不准时的习惯，懒散的习惯，我一定会改完他。谢谢兄弟们。 只有你翔，其实在我心中你是跟我最要好的，可是我现在看到你，我感觉好陌生，我不知道要和你说什么，我很想可以像以前那样疯疯癫癫，但我真的办不到，希望你能给我时间，过了一段日子会好回的，无论如何，你都是我的兄弟。你叫到我一定会出现的。

第三段，我真的很想留给你田小姐，我知道两年前，我把我们的关系复杂了，我真的对不起。我以为我一路以来只是把你当妹妹，可是我发觉到自己挺喜欢你的。分了手后，很谢谢你一直陪着我，说改变我，我真的很努力改变，我想要达到你的目标，我一定会做到一个疼爱你，有前景知道自己未来，比你懂事不需要你操心，对你忠心，我不是分手了才有的冲动。我很了解自己想要保护的是你，真的希望我来得及赶上你的火车。为了你，我一定会改变，也不忘了赚多点钱养你。我希望你不介意，我一直黏着你，为的也是了解你。我真的动心了，虽然你告诉我有更好的，可是我真的不要，我的目标很清楚，只要照顾你一辈子。跟你说了要去新加坡找你，去怡宝找你，是我和你的约定，再忙我也会找你。是你让我有这股力量想要了解你，我真的希望你能看到我的改变，我会证明给你看，我对你的爱，不是因为孤独，而是真的动心了。其实，我看了你的博客，我真的好想是那位你第一个就想到的人。

最后，再见以前的刘翔斌，我要前进了，我要做一个为了自己而活的刘翔斌，我要达到我的梦想。

感恩，未来会更好，一切都会顺利。

Hopeful 2017

Just a blink of eye and we already step in the 3rd month of the year, there is lot of things happen in my life just between these first 2 months of the year.

Firstly, it's really sad that I ended my 7 years relationship during the valentine days of year 2017. It's really hard for me to accept this, but by thinking it deep into my mind and my heart, I think is the right thing for her to do so, as times goes by everything become a norm and we didn't realize our love has been faded throughout all these year but we just didn't realize it. Just until the time when it so close to our wedding day, then only you realize it. After all the explanation I agree that this has to be done for the best of both parties, I do respect her decision and decided to let go. Just send the blessing to her. I am the one who mess up this relationship, I'm really thank you for things that you sacrifice for me these 7 years. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Thank you for the 7 years memory.

It took me awhile to move on, that is why I really grateful that I got my buddies and family by my side and keep the positive energy surrounding me. Really thank you guys. Thank to this happen, I realize the real feeling and the thing should be done of loving someone else.

But in order to love other people, love ourselves is the most important things to do. Learn to love yourself treat yourself nice, and people will start to surrounding around you because of all the positive energy that you able to generate out.

All I got to know is to stay positive and solve all the problems in future. 

Thank you for my brothers advice, I will change all my bad habits away and set new targets to achieve. About relationship, I decided to put it aside. All I need now is to focus to my objectives and be success in my career.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the gift of health that keeping me alive and to be success.

Happy New Year 2015

In a few clips of eyes, it's end of a year and a start of another year,
Just think very deep what I had done throughout the year.

In year 2014, I had a whole new career path, then I start to see and learn a lot of things when day goes by. Realizing my objectives still not achieve yet make myself kinda tension anyway, at least it's getting closer.

I'm feeling grateful that I can overcome each of the obstacle in the year 2014 which I find that it was a kinda tough year to myself. Really thank you that I has people support and encouragement to go through all these. Really thank you and grateful.



I got to set a new objectives to achieve in year 2015 together to achieve those that I haven't achieve in year 2014. In year 2015, continue to learn as much as I can as there is more and more things to learn in the year of 2015. Just can't stop to improve myself and tackle my weaknesses.

Let's hope for very best for the coming year.

Stupid act of mine

I know is stupid, I know by doing this will get on to your nerve, but I just simply can't explain why am I doing this.

All I hope for now is get one last chance from you. I have been thinking deep these few break days.

I always think back to the origin we started our relationship. What drive us to always be together and happy. And I realize lot of thing, we cherish each other, love each other be with each other.

I know I make a big mistake this time. I just hope for your forgive. I will prove to you I will change everything for you.

I love you

Happy New Year 2014

Thank you for all the memories and experience that I gained in year 2013.

More and more challenges ahead in year 2014.

Setting up the new goals and target in what to be achieved within this year.

The main objective still remain whereby I need to learn and gain more experience in auditing line in order to achieve a better future of mine.

Work hard study hard

Not forget to wish everyone Happy New Year 2014.

Wishing all the best to everyone here too

Happy always.

Farewell My first job

Time really flies....

I can't believe I had stay in this company for 1 year including the OT time I had worked for in this company

Really so much of thank you I wanna say to this company

Though towards the last day I got to hold my tears....this place had trained me a lot

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn and growth, doing a project is not easy everything is as hoc.

But I learned a lot of bank stuff here the process, the products, the analysis.

Cannot absorb all but I'm happy I learned some.

Lot of sad,happy,joy etc stuff happening throughout the project which we get to solve it together.

Thank you for giving me a chance to grow up.

Working in project everything is a rush, OT just to finish the task, facing all the blame game, people which sometimes really challenging, thank you for everything and I learned.

Thank you for training up my skills, I had been always careless, thank you for let me think deeper and harder on working thing on. Thank you

Really learned a lot in this team and this project in this bank.

Thank you for everything.