官兄，新婚愉快，其实除了祝福你也没什么好说了。身为兄弟的你，在我最低落时，你还特地花了你宝贵的时间约我出来训了我一顿，说实话，当时的我真的不值得你这么做的。真的很感激你这一番训话，我改变了自己，改变成一个更好的自己。

在你结婚当天我真的非常开心，看着你有了事业，也开始组织自己的家庭了，就已经踏入人生的另一个阶段了。昨天的我一直在控制自己的情绪，真的是开心到要飘泪的那一种感觉。

我真的很开心我遇到了你这位兄弟，谢谢你把我从谷底拉了起来。

谢谢你，官兄。

懒惰的一天

很懒惰，什么都不想做，我的车子还没回复原状搞到我好忐忑。 想一想明天还要架远路呢，幸好收到同事信息改架他的车，总算松了一口气。

在一个人静静的时候，突然又想起了你，好想大胆的问你其实我有爱你的资格吗？如果我再勇敢一点点，你会说我有爱你的资格吗？ 分享你的偶像的歌给你，不知道你会怎么想。

我也害怕这是我一时的冲动结果我还是没问你，静静的收在心里就好。

静静的夜晚。

Random 的一天

今天很懒惰起床的说， 一起床看到你回信好开心，说真的不知道为什么今早就想你了，不过不敢告诉你。我还拍了我的ukulele给你看，告诉你我很早起身玩了一下又睡回去。

正式起床之后就洗刷，然后出门帮我老弟搬家，搬完以后，就开始工作的节奏，把工敢完。

到了晚餐，我还是告诉你我今天想你了，幸好你反应不大，就敷衍带过。看到你煮的晚餐简单方便但我就不喜欢马铃薯，希望有天能尝到这挑三挑四的小姐所煮的菜肴。

Random day.

复杂的心情

人生总是有起有落，想要逼自己往好的方面想真的不简单，工作方面真的需要帮自己找到一个推动力，努力望目标前进。目标永远都是那么简单，一心意义只想要学到更多。避免自己的烂戒口。考试也只是一张纸，把自己懂得会的丢下去就是了。

最让我烦的还是情这一个字。我尝试把所有的情转移到家人还是无法忘了对她的那份情。 朋友说我是不是自虐，为什么要喜欢一个不喜欢自己的人还要去付出。老实说我不知道，我只知道做了开心就好。送她回家的那一刻一直在掉泪，心想她应该不知道。也许这样坚持未必带来好的结果，只想至少我为她付出过已足够了。

痛楚会慢慢消失的，珍惜自己，爱自己才是最重要的。 加油吧！

睡不着，不想回家的夜晚

越是宁静的时候，脑袋越会乱想东乱想西，我一直想把自己做到最好，可是想了一想我有在进步嘛？

我的人生目标并还没有很明确，考试什么的，工作什么的，一切都还在摸索着。

我只想快点考完试，想着想着还有不到一个月的时间，而且我并没有什么读到，想了想顺其自然的去考，还蛮压力的。每次都会给自己很多的借口。现在想什么也没用，就尽力读完它吧。

工作方面，最近表现很差，也许我失去了工作的冲进，我需要一个目标，以前是说想学就是想学，现在学也学了七七八八，但，太过多东西改变了，我也来不及提升自己，我真的好想把所有的一切知识装进我的脑袋里。 说到冲进就得要有目标，我的目标还是和以前一样吗？要坚持下去吗？我一向都很喜欢分析公司财务管理，可是我已经好久没做了。每次都因为做工而没有在外面提升自己。我真的还要坚持下去吗。

最困扰我的，事到如今，我还是不知道为什么我就不能把感情这东西放一旁。我已经很努力的把所有的爱转移到了家人，可是我的心一直在想着我们能不能前进。想起你对我说的一切，我知道是不可能的。可是，我却硬着头皮给上了。也许有一天奇迹发生让你接受了我。我知道，我还不成熟，我的理想还没达到。只能说一切随缘，只是心里真的很不舒服，一直要压抑自己，为你能够付出的我一定做。虽然每次都催眠自己说，对你再好我们也只是朋友，对你付出的一切不求回报只想珍惜和你在一起的时候。 就算永远都是朋友，我也不介意。因为，谁叫我真的喜欢上一个不可能的人。

我不知道，为何会那么在乎你的一切，说是爱，其实我也很怕这是假象，可能我刚分手几个月就想特别关心你。种种的问题一直浮现在脑海里，一直自问自己，到底我是不是喜欢上了 你。无法否认，我真的很享受和你在一起的时光，愿意跟你分享一切，把你所说的都记在心里。就算这一切算是喜欢你的理由，我也会觉得自己很幼稚。

你要的是一个成熟的男生，要比你又学问，比你懂事，这让我想到，我很想要你把我当成是你的依靠，我会不断的进步证明自己，希望我的一切的梦想都可以实现。在正式的追求你。

真的找不到别人诉苦，就只能靠这里把自己的心声都说出来。

加油吧！

惭愧，亏欠，对不起

分手后，流了不少的泪，感觉自己也瘦了几公斤，让我来发一个博说完分手后的感言吧！发完这最后一次，就继续已经在前进的我。

首先，谢谢一直在我身边的家人和朋友。

第一个是敬爱的刘女王，这7年里真的对不起，我忽略了你对我的爱，我真的很不孝，拍拖时没好好陪你，分了手后，你是那个一直陪我和我开玩笑，当你告诉我不要怕，我一直在你身边时，虽然那时候只是信息，我的泪都狂飚了。 女王，对不起，我真的知错了，没有人能替代你在我心中的位置，虽然现在发现有点迟，子欲养儿亲不待，我记得的，女王，原谅我，我一定会好好照顾自己，听你的做好自己， 完成梦想，真的很谢谢你一直陪着我。我会做好自己，有时间就回家陪你，我好想念你煮给我的菜肴，小时候不珍惜，大了特怀念。当面我根本对着你开不了口，我也不想让你看到我的眼泪，我会好起来的。

第二，兄弟们，谢谢你们的辅导，我会改过自新的，我不会浪费你们骂我的时间。我一定会改掉我拖延的习惯，不准时的习惯，懒散的习惯，我一定会改完他。谢谢兄弟们。 只有你翔，其实在我心中你是跟我最要好的，可是我现在看到你，我感觉好陌生，我不知道要和你说什么，我很想可以像以前那样疯疯癫癫，但我真的办不到，希望你能给我时间，过了一段日子会好回的，无论如何，你都是我的兄弟。你叫到我一定会出现的。

第三段，我真的很想留给你田小姐，我知道两年前，我把我们的关系复杂了，我真的对不起。我以为我一路以来只是把你当妹妹，可是我发觉到自己挺喜欢你的。分了手后，很谢谢你一直陪着我，说改变我，我真的很努力改变，我想要达到你的目标，我一定会做到一个疼爱你，有前景知道自己未来，比你懂事不需要你操心，对你忠心，我不是分手了才有的冲动。我很了解自己想要保护的是你，真的希望我来得及赶上你的火车。为了你，我一定会改变，也不忘了赚多点钱养你。我希望你不介意，我一直黏着你，为的也是了解你。我真的动心了，虽然你告诉我有更好的，可是我真的不要，我的目标很清楚，只要照顾你一辈子。跟你说了要去新加坡找你，去怡宝找你，是我和你的约定，再忙我也会找你。是你让我有这股力量想要了解你，我真的希望你能看到我的改变，我会证明给你看，我对你的爱，不是因为孤独，而是真的动心了。其实，我看了你的博客，我真的好想是那位你第一个就想到的人。

最后，再见以前的刘翔斌，我要前进了，我要做一个为了自己而活的刘翔斌，我要达到我的梦想。

感恩，未来会更好，一切都会顺利。

Hopeful 2017

Just a blink of eye and we already step in the 3rd month of the year, there is lot of things happen in my life just between these first 2 months of the year.

Firstly, it's really sad that I ended my 7 years relationship during the valentine days of year 2017. It's really hard for me to accept this, but by thinking it deep into my mind and my heart, I think is the right thing for her to do so, as times goes by everything become a norm and we didn't realize our love has been faded throughout all these year but we just didn't realize it. Just until the time when it so close to our wedding day, then only you realize it. After all the explanation I agree that this has to be done for the best of both parties, I do respect her decision and decided to let go. Just send the blessing to her. I am the one who mess up this relationship, I'm really thank you for things that you sacrifice for me these 7 years. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Thank you for the 7 years memory.

It took me awhile to move on, that is why I really grateful that I got my buddies and family by my side and keep the positive energy surrounding me. Really thank you guys. Thank to this happen, I realize the real feeling and the thing should be done of loving someone else.

But in order to love other people, love ourselves is the most important things to do. Learn to love yourself treat yourself nice, and people will start to surrounding around you because of all the positive energy that you able to generate out.

All I got to know is to stay positive and solve all the problems in future. 

Thank you for my brothers advice, I will change all my bad habits away and set new targets to achieve. About relationship, I decided to put it aside. All I need now is to focus to my objectives and be success in my career.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the gift of health that keeping me alive and to be success.

Happy New Year 2015

In a few clips of eyes, it's end of a year and a start of another year,
Just think very deep what I had done throughout the year.

In year 2014, I had a whole new career path, then I start to see and learn a lot of things when day goes by. Realizing my objectives still not achieve yet make myself kinda tension anyway, at least it's getting closer.

I'm feeling grateful that I can overcome each of the obstacle in the year 2014 which I find that it was a kinda tough year to myself. Really thank you that I has people support and encouragement to go through all these. Really thank you and grateful.



I got to set a new objectives to achieve in year 2015 together to achieve those that I haven't achieve in year 2014. In year 2015, continue to learn as much as I can as there is more and more things to learn in the year of 2015. Just can't stop to improve myself and tackle my weaknesses.

Let's hope for very best for the coming year.

Stupid act of mine

I know is stupid, I know by doing this will get on to your nerve, but I just simply can't explain why am I doing this.

All I hope for now is get one last chance from you. I have been thinking deep these few break days.

I always think back to the origin we started our relationship. What drive us to always be together and happy. And I realize lot of thing, we cherish each other, love each other be with each other.

I know I make a big mistake this time. I just hope for your forgive. I will prove to you I will change everything for you.

I love you

Happy New Year 2014

Thank you for all the memories and experience that I gained in year 2013.

More and more challenges ahead in year 2014.

Setting up the new goals and target in what to be achieved within this year.

The main objective still remain whereby I need to learn and gain more experience in auditing line in order to achieve a better future of mine.

Work hard study hard

Not forget to wish everyone Happy New Year 2014.

Wishing all the best to everyone here too

Happy always.

Farewell My first job

Time really flies....

I can't believe I had stay in this company for 1 year including the OT time I had worked for in this company

Really so much of thank you I wanna say to this company

Though towards the last day I got to hold my tears....this place had trained me a lot

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn and growth, doing a project is not easy everything is as hoc.

But I learned a lot of bank stuff here the process, the products, the analysis.

Cannot absorb all but I'm happy I learned some.

Lot of sad,happy,joy etc stuff happening throughout the project which we get to solve it together.

Thank you for giving me a chance to grow up.

Working in project everything is a rush, OT just to finish the task, facing all the blame game, people which sometimes really challenging, thank you for everything and I learned.

Thank you for training up my skills, I had been always careless, thank you for let me think deeper and harder on working thing on. Thank you

Really learned a lot in this team and this project in this bank.

Thank you for everything.

Team Work

Talking about team work, I think lately I really did badly in this, I can't really assist my team during this week task.

Maybe I'm really focus on the wrong thing and forgot about my team. All these while I was so worry that I'm not able to key in and work on my own to ask questions from the senior. Due to all these I'm really lost my direction in doing my job.

Felt really sorry to my team, that I'm really doing my task correctly.

Other than thinking all these negative thing, I'm trying hard to let my mind think of positive thing pull myself back. And I'm really found that I should focus in my team handling task doing all job together handling task without increase their nurse. I'm always thought that I always did a good job in working in a team looks like I'm wrong again. I'm selfish and didn't think of others.

It's time to learn and change again. Focus more on y own work other than worry in the future. Did a good job in my position is the most important thing that I need to do now.

Lately I don't have my gf to comfort me because she was too busy with her job too and I'm really can understand that.

I really need to grow up and figure out what is right and what is wrong. What should I do and what I shouldn't do.

Really, when times pass by, there is more an more that I need to learn and handle before I'm really move into my real permanent job in future.

Happy always.

Positive thinking

Maybe in the train is my best place to think everything again

Well as I previously mentioned
My current job is just to understand how the system work and what we need to know and keyed inside the system

At first I'm really happy I got to do more than that and really happy I can learned more but day by day, week by week pass by, I got bored, because what I became now is to teach others how to key in and use it, but I'm always do all the back end think I really don't know the user thing to key in anyway...

After that I found some solution, I'm trying hard to learn so that I'm able to guide and teach them...learning all by myself and through my team member...

End up I learned nothing I perhaps, trying to understand everything is not as easy as ABC...

So, I'm struggling lately, on the mistake I made...problem on assists others...made me feel do restless these few days

I'm trying to maintain my positive thinking mind stay calm...but really it's really hard...having a clear mind all the time it's really not that easy...

I really hope I can learn by myself faster ...I really trying...I don't understand why...

Well things that got me fire is on the lately meeting, with my current job I hardly keep my promise to my girlfriend because of all the time constraint...and the meeting ...i really got dont know of the reason I need to stay and listen to it..the meeting saying and mentioning all the problem in the system.....it might be part of learning but it's late at night..and I'm so tired that not even a words can stick on my mind...I really hope all these can be done in the morning....

After all these problems come in, I always try my best to have a positive mind and be happy always...luckily I got a very understanding gf that always support me...always calm me and know what I need when I'm down...

I really want to learn either by myself and learning from others but I find it really hard

All I want now is just knowledge and the ability to assist my team, I really hope I'm able to think every sort of way to help my team members out

I really need to think out a way so that I can continue to learn and be passion in my job...just really have to try my best and learn as much as possible

Just stay positive and keep learning
Pain in life is to enable one to grow up stronger

Happy always

Working life

It's had been a month that I started to work.
Gain lot of experience here as part of people and also understanding my company want.

Sometimes it really needs me to rethink what I have done for the day
I know I made lot of mistake when I'm doing my job sometimes
and really need to think and find a way out to solve all the problems

Problems do occur sometimes, but the way to solve it is important
found lot of issues lately in my office, no matter in encounter people or work
Really need to found out a way sometimes
I need to have a face action when facing some sudden event or problem incurred and really need to finish all the task that given set to me before the deadline

Every night have to think what I had done is not easy
and think of way of doing thing fast
all these really not easy for me
but I will work hard and try to find the best solutions
not to forget also
be happy and stay positive is the only way I can do

Happy always

Another stage of life

After I'm graduate in my study life
these 4 years gave me lot of sweet bitter memories to store
and I will always remember the experience and knowledge I had gained
another stage of life working life

this stage of life, we will be wholly and exclusively independent
without our parents to support us
and I had been do lot of thinking on how to support my own life and also in future my life partner together with my own family soon which my child in future.

Sometimes, I'm really so impress that my parents able to raise my siblings and me which total of 4 person, I know they faces some hard time too, but when come to me myself, I really can't figure out anything that I can support all these.

I'm actually thinking of saving those money inside, well as if I really calculate, it really didn't save that much of money. I just hope my plan really succeed, actually my plan is to do some savings and with some investment.
Just hope my plan will succeed, seriously I just want to work hard to earn money, I don't like doing sales and direct sales, will just using my own way to prove that not only these sales can makes you earn more money, but also to save more money to have a better life.

It's not easy I know, since my next working job will be only hold me for 1 year and I need to find another job again, this one year I choose to work as temporary so that I can be more focus on facing my exams clear it up and go on to what I really want in future.

I always dreamt that I will be a pro. financial analyst in the future, imagine analyse all those company financial statement, really hope I can get such a job in the future, all I need it experience.
Although I had been doing it, I think what I did just the minor part of it, I'm there is a lot more to learn.

As for partner, I do promise her, I will earn more and save more to have a better life for both of us in the future, I know that my strategy will make her loss all her confidence but I will try my best.
It's the right way for her to be harsh on me sometimes, realistic is the right way to face the world.
We are no longer in the world of our parents generation whereby a person is enough to support a family.

Life is getting tougher now a days, I have to work hard so that I can achieve my own goals and let my family to enjoy their life without any burden too.

Let's looking forward to future, bite my own teeth, work as hard as possible don't forget also taking care of my own health too.

Happy always.
Let the challenge begin.

Our 3rd anniversary

I'm really appreciate it girl
Really we have been together for 3 years already,really appreciate it

We have been overcome so many challenges these three years including travel around the world too

You are the only one that always be with me when I encounter, really love you girl, sorry that sometimes I made u mad and angry that cause you frustrated at me too.
No matter what you are the only I love really appreciate for what you had sacrifice for me

What makes the most happening thing is I had been accepted by your parents already which makes me even happier.

Promise you will work hard to build our future and also out future family...I love you girl

Happy always

Experience, Satisfaction

Since when I'm coming back from UK
the first week I was like try to give myself a rest after so many trips and places I have went
second week which means this week trying to go back to my secondary school and share my good news with my teachers that I'm officially graduated.

As going back to secondary school, saw all my very juniors finding teachers discuss and also on their duty solving problems remind me of my secondary memories also.

In secondary I'm kinda famous and know lots of teacher here and they try to tell me what are they doing how is the current education system that had implemented by the government now, how complicated it is compare to ours. And lot of things. Sharing out what my classmates are doing with them and how are they right now. Really fun chatting around.

After that, I also share some of my experience with my juniors and share how my experience in UK with my teachers also.

Well, other than that, they also give me their opinion what I should learn when going in to the society world
some of the moral stories I can share here

1) Understand human, study human. It is like understand human, how to mix with human, and learn how to work with others. Trust, integrity which is very important honest. All these are a very valuable attitude that a human should have.

2) Control the environment. Yeah, in working world it might very boring and dull, that is why we need to learn how to change the environment and not to let the environment control you.

3) Life. well life it's not about you yourself. It's also including how you go through the entire life. We learn since we are born, going to kindergarten, primary, secondary, college, university, start working, partner, partner parents, take care of both own parents and also partner parents ensure its balance.

Yeah, it's important how we make our life interesting and joyful. It's very important to gain all this experience and has satisfaction in what we are doing.

Therefore, it's important to learn everything of it.

Now it's the time to start finding job and also aim for my targets.

Happy always

Birthday in UK

This is the first time, perhaps the only time, I can enjoy my birthday in UK with so many friends together

Really thanks a lot to you guys, especially my bestie who sacrifice and cook so many foods

and really really thank you to my girl who make so many surprises just for me

really love her

love you girl

thanks a lot

Happy always

More challenges ahead

Well, start from tomorrow is going to be my hectic week
I will be having two trips for this week
Leeds and Newcastle
and some more presentation and phase test next week
going to rush everything down
and settle it
really need to prepare myself for all these
let's do it
happy always ^^

Sorry Girl

Sorry girl that I always making you angry when I'm tired
just give me sometimes to relax and I will be alright
I know you waste lot of time and effort to make surprise for me
and also lot of friends effort too
and by making more surprise to me
you sacrifice more
sorry girl
thanks for everything
love you
Happy always